“One of the toughest parts of life is deciding when to give up and when to try harder…”
The times I’ve said I have no regrets about going into teaching, I was partly lying. I do have regrets sometimes. I have moments when I think it was all a big mistake, other routes would have brought me to a better place, and things wouldn’t be as up in the air for me as they are now.
My year of hoping and dreaming is coming slowly but surely to an end with very little in the way of positive reinforcements. I don’t feel part of the teaching community; in fact I feel very much detached from it. I write about education because I care about it intensely, but I’m still an outsider sitting behind the door with fingers crossed hoping someone will recognize something in the way of potential and offer me a shot: a door, a window, anything. I gave myself a year, it’s already been six months. I have only about four or five months before things really come to a crossroads and I have to decide whether I want to give up or if I’m going to plug on and try harder. Do I try another state? Do I try for a private school? Do I count my losses, and bail? I don’t know.
It is harder than I ever imagined. It is a decision I hoped I’d never have to make.