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Still dreaming; still hopeful June 11, 2009

Filed under: Dear Diary...,Things to remember,Video — Ms.M @ 8:50 am

I interviewed for what I think I can honestly say is my dream job at my dream school yesterday. I wanted so badly to stand out. The techie language arts teacher. The service oriented language arts teacher. Citing the great variety of books I’ve read and projects I’ve done and students I’ve worked with through the years.

I tried my hardest to be myself, but sometimes I start to wonder if “myself” is good enough or will ever be good enough. I’ve been through this process so many times now, getting through second and third interviews, sample lesson presentations, month long hopeful journeys that end in defeat. No inkling of where I’m going wrong. No idea of what that other special person had that set them just one step apart.

But maybe I really am crazy, because as disappointed as I’ve felt in the past, I’m still putting myself out there and I’m still hopeful that the day will come.

A video to help me remember to remember.


2 Responses to “Still dreaming; still hopeful”

  1. Your post brought tears to my eyes.

    While I don’t know first-hand what you’re going through…I do know it almost-first-hand? Some of the statements you made are my/our biggest fears. Especially the being yourself, is it good enough one.

    I’ll stop this post now before I get too upset.

  2. Ms.M Says:

    I think everyone worries about that at one point or another. I thought the post ended on a hopeful note? No? Well, I really am hopeful. I’m still laughing it off and carrying on with my life, but those thoughts do creep in, and getting them down is better than dwelling on them.

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