So much has changed this year in my teaching life. And, to be honest, I’m not sure how I feel about all of those changes. Changes in expectations, changes in class sizes, changes in supervisors are just a handful of the changes that have come with this new school year. I was telling a few of my colleagues yesterday that it truly feels as though this is my first year of teaching (again), and that unlike my first year, some aspects of my job seem much more stressful and overwhelming than they ever have before.Yet, at the same time, that seems so odd to even consider. Anything you do more than once you should be learning to do better and therefore it should become easier and less stressful, not harder and more stressful, shouldn’t it?
I have more class time (that should be a good thing right?), but have more things to juggle in that extra class time and more students to juggle with. I’m sharing a class with another teacher (sounds perfect doesn’t it?), but that means having to constantly coordinate/discuss that class with no real extra planning time to do that. I have a ton of more books in my classroom and the school book room (A dream come true, right?), but that means actually knowing all those books students are picking up and reading well enough to gauge their understanding on a regular basis.
And, more often than not, I feel like I’m floundering…or I’m not meeting my own expectations, and I hate that feeling more than anything else I’ve mentioned.
And I don’t really have a goal for how to get myself out of that besides, “Just keep swimming,” and that’s not really a goal at all.
So I need a goal, because without one I seem to be swimming around in circles without really getting anywhere. Not drowning, but not getting where I need to go either.